your maw smokes roll ups
your maw used tae be the manager of TASS colts
your maw went on Deal or No Deal and sold the banker to Noel Edmonds
your maw spits in the mirror and looks at herself
your maw thinks Gok Wan's wee brothers called Gok Two
your maw gargles sawdust
your maw canny spell "coleslaw"
your maw dusny let yer dad see her in the scud
your maw is a bouncer at Farmfoods
your maw thinks the FTSE is the sexiest part of the stock exchange
your maw googled google and broke the internet
your maw got I.D'd for skins
your maw dusny believe in Twitter
your maw eats tampons
your maw got done in by the Sea Queen
your maw pays her tick in pound coins
your maw used tae go wae McArdle
your maw collects fag douts
your maw hangs about wae the janny at playtime
your maw has got a shiny Charizard and wilny swap it for fuck all
